Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
