new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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