Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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