Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
