U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
