If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
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