Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
