She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
me + whiskey = a bad person
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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