someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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