What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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