i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
so much tequila, so little girl.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
