we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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