Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
