Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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