I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
