i always forget guys have bellybuttons
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
