whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
