I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We smell like vodka and hangover
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