I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
