Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
