I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
