he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
