I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
