yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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