So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
