she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
