You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
