I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
