Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
