Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
