I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
