The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
