did you get engaged???
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
