Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
