Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
