i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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