I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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