I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
