I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
