carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Come share oat with me in your robe
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
