erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
handjob tips. give me some.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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