I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
