thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
