what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
