boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
