she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
