You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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