Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
