I wanna passion pit in your ass
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
