Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize