There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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