I am puke
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The uberlube is also flammable
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
