I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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