He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
