is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
