Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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