i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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