i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
they're like a gay fantastic four
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
