my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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